10 Sacred Rules of Life I wish I knew 10 Years ago
I am now aware of life being full of experiences and lessons filled with immense joy and agonizing pain; so I feel I am a little perplexed when I say I wish I knew these rules 10 years ago because I wonder would I be the same person I am today or would I be different? I wonder this because if I knew these rules 10 years ago would it disrupt all the discoveries, experiences, lessons, joy, pain and gratitude I have for myself and life as a whole. Maybe I wasn’t meant to have discovered these rules 10 years ago because it was divinely orchestrated for me to learn them a year and a half ago and then publish them now. These rules are very special but many people are possibly aware of them already since they are an amalgamation of everything I’ve experienced and read over the years. Maybe it was just meant for me to learn all of this at this time then share it with people currently experiencing what I experienced over the years so their self-discovery journey is a smoother path filled with more light than darkness, more love and support than loneliness and isolation, more unity and togetherness and less separation and sadness. Some people are meant to be “martyrs” spreading so much love, light, support and help as much as their heart and soul can fathom so yes, a small part of me wish I did know this 10 years ago, but the other 90% of me is totally fine with how my life is designed and orchestrated because either way I am here spreading as much love, light, peace and wisdom as I can. I am humbled and grateful and my wish is that these 10 rules can truly benefit you in the most profound ways and you pass it on to the next person you think could benefit from them.
Rule #1. Forgiveness
As cliche as it may be, forgiveness really does set us free. Most of the time, nobody knows or even cares about how much a situation has caused us a great deal of pain. Suffering is a choice. It doesn’t take away what happen to us nor are we disregarding someones deplorable actions, however we must move on for our own sanity. Revenge, grudges, resentment or waiting around for an apology won’t always guarantee us closure. Create your own closure by accepting what happened, grieve if you must, and finally letting it go for good. It no longer rents space in that beautiful mind of yours. It can’t afford to anyway. We don’t need to remember and replay the same scenario that brings us so much pain over and over again. This inadvertently keeps us trapped and our mind warped in a sea of suffering with no rafts in sight. We need to take back control by genuinely forgiving everyone involved and forgetting altogether. Sometimes this means forgiving ourselves for knowing better but not doing better. Forgiveness is what fresh air is for the lungs; you breathe better, feel better, think better therefore live a better happier and healthier life. No one has control over you or your life except YOU. Forgive and be set free and always remember to be patient in the process.
Rule #2. Do not let People Project their Opinions, Beliefs or Standards on You
Like drugs, “negative suggestion” kills. What is negative suggestion? (“Someone making a statement intended to discourage or suppress a persons feelings, thoughts, or actions by telling them they shouldn’t or they can’t do something”). I compare this to drugs because it slowly kills you from the inside out. You don’t feel free and happy with your life or within yourself because you’re living according to other peoples standards. It’s extremely exhausting for the soul. Your life is yours to live so live it the way you want to. Your body, your life, NOT THEIRS! Get that job/career, business, friends, relationship, hobbies, the dog, the cat, the car, the experiences, I don’t care what it is you find joy and fulfillment in, freaking DO IT and LIVE IT. Whatever truly makes you happy inside, then fucking do it. You are so worthy and deserving of living life exactly as you want. Concern yourself with only your beliefs, opinions and standards. Everyday is a sunny day when you live life according to your own standards, beliefs and opinions. It’s freeing to your soul. So start living for you NOW without all the background noise of your friends, family, spouse, coworkers suggestions for YOUR life.
Rule #3 Only You can Define You
Similar to rule #2, it’s easy for some of us to let other people and material things such as our job/career, money, cars, education, our children’s education, who we date etc define us; especially our friends and family who swear they have us all figured out; typically judging us by what’s on the surface. They usually define us based off of circumstances and situations we are experiencing in the moment. We also define ourselves by those standards as well especially when life isn’t moving in the direction we would like it to. Life could also be going exactly the way we want, we could be super successful in our own way, yet we are still defined by the external aspects of our life by others…surface stuff yet again. The point I am making is that only YOU can define YOU. Do not let the people around you regardless of the relationship you have with them define who you are whether it’s positive or negative. You are the captain or leader of your own life. Only you can hear the whispers of your heart and soul, not them or your material life. Even if you were to explain your sacredness to them, they still couldn’t define you from that information. The same goes for experiencing unpleasant circumstances; you shouldn’t define yourself negatively based off of a few bumps along your journey. Enjoy the ride while reveling that you are bold enough, confident enough, strong enough to withstand whatever surprises life sends your way. I will not tell you how you should define yourself, but remember, there is always a choice to define yourself by your inherent blessed, abundant and unconditional loving nature no matter what your life appears to be like.
Rule #4 Reconciling Relationships of any Kind
When reconciling or overcoming relationship problems of any kind it’s more about us than it is about them. Oftentimes, there are lessons we need to learn about people and ourselves; so that difficult person you had a relationship with was the conduit for that experience. Blaming the other person is pointless even if you feel you are completely justified in feeling that way because it’s all about accountability on your behalf. For example, lets say you were friends with someone who treated you in ways you didn’t deserve and this behavior went on for years. You could argue that they betrayed you, used you until there was nothing left, manipulated, verbally abused you etc; however, we could also ask ourselves why stick around in a situation where we’re not being treated equally and with respect for all those years. Now, I’m in no way “victim blaming or shaming”, my wish is for us to step into our sovereignty and take back control of our life since blaming other people sends the message that we’re giving all of our power and control to the other parties involved; therefore we must be ready to take personal responsibility for our role in the relationship. This means doing some honest and at times, very uncomfortable reflecting. Our willingness to honestly self-reflect prevents the same cycle with a different person from happening over and over again. There will be times when we have to ask ourself what is it about me that attracts these kinds of people into my life or why am I putting up with behaviors that really hurt me deep down inside? People sometimes reflect certain qualities that are in us, they are like mirrors revealing things about ourselves that we may not like such as our low self-worth, lack of self-love, our co-dependent tendencies or how much of a people pleaser we actually are. There are even instances where we realize we share some of the same “negative” characteristics as the people we constantly bud heads with typically in our other relationships with other people, but we wouldn’t dare admit to being just like the person we can’t stand or get along with. My point is that it’s extremely important that we first acknowledge our roles in situations before placing blame on everybody else. It’s useless and mentally and emotionally exhausting. It dissipates our power over our own life causing us to be a slave to suffering and pain. There’s no freedom which means there’s no happiness or joy in our life. We must come to the sometimes harsh or “unfair” realization that the only fixing we can really do is on ourselves and the moment we surrender to this truth is when true reconciliation occurs within all of our relationships including the most sacred relationship we could ever have which is the one we have with ourselves.
Rule #5. Honor what’s Sacred to You
Sometimes it is really best we keep what’s considered sacred to ourselves. If our big dreams scare us at times what do you think it’ll do to others who can’t visualize your dreams like you do. It’s nothing personal, we just have to protect what’s sacred to us from any potential danger the way we would protect our children or something else we absolutely love and cherish. When we share our ideas, visions or personal life such as a relationship with family and friends expecting nothing but positivity and support only to receive the opposite it spoils our happiness, excitement, motivation, inspiration and drive. They unintentionally or intentionally project fear, doubt and/or hate and that poison seeps its way through our subconscious and consciousness manifesting insidious energy around our goals or the relationship we are so happy about repelling us from the life we want to create or is in the process of creating. While I wholeheartedly agree that we are the only ones that can truly derail things from happening in our life, outside influences such as these are a contributing factor to the fall of our potential empire. So to be safer than sorry, it is in our best interest to keep those sacred ideas, goals, plans or our love life to ourselves unless we are absolutely positive that we can trust who we share that sacredness with.
Rule #6. Whatever Journey you are on Make it an Adventurous One
Whatever you are working on or working through do your very best to make it exciting and adventurous. Of course you will come across many challenges and unpleasant circumstances that’s far from exciting or an adventure for that matter but the key is to look at those difficult moments as a test of your strength and power; it’s all apart of the journey, what you are destined to experience in some way so that you can learn and evolve and be better equipped for what awaits you at the end of your journey. This also requires a whole lot of patience. I know, it’s a word most people resent when journeying along their path; but patience is what makes you love and appreciate yourself and others who support you all the more because you are seeing your attitude and behavior in real time on this journey. Being patient also presents the opportunity for you to learn from every experience and places you in a position to help someone else who was exactly where you once were. Being patient means you were present for every step and level on this journey so you’ll be a professional at whatever your craft is in life. You’ll be a professional at turning anything into a good time or a learned lesson or a really good drink after a really long and complicated day. Everything doesn’t always have to be taken so serious to the point where the fun, the lesson and the experience is missed. Laugh at little at the challenges along your journey because trust me you will when it’s all over. Enjoy and embrace your chosen path and journey. Look at it as one wild adventurous ride; a story you’ll share when it’s all over. Trust that whatever’s happening is happening FOR YOU not to you. You’ll be sitting at your throne in no time. It’s all up to you.
Rule #7. Focus More on the Lesson than the pain
When we are knee deep in bullshit it is so easy and common, practically natural for most of us to focus only on the pain of the situation or circumstances. This is one of those easier said than done methods but having the ability to rise above the bullshit that life sometimes throws our way is our best option. Why? Because what we continue to put our focus on is what we will continue to see and live. If all we see is pain and all we feel is pain, guess what, pain will continue to be served everyday. Imagine consuming toxins everyday and think about the effects it will have on your entire body. It’s the same with focusing on toxic thoughts and constantly having toxic feelings towards the circumstances and situation. Your body is slowly but surely breaking down which can eventually manifest as life threatening diseases. Therefore, it’s imperative to focus on the lesson instead of those dreadful thoughts and emotions. You can do this by asking yourself questions such as what is this trying to teach me instead of why is this happening to me or what cycles do I need to break instead of, stuff like this is always happening in my life, why me? Discovering the lesson is the door to personal freedom and inner happiness. Don’t be afraid to get real and raw with yourself even if that means sitting in the discomfort of that painful experience without judgment and criticism and wait for the answers/solutions to reveal themselves. Stand in your sovereignty by having control of your attitude towards the circumstance or situation not the other way around. Understand that the pain from this lesson is teaching you something that is of great significance, it’s not meant to punish you no matter what “mistakes” you made or even if it’s something that happened that was totally out of your control. Focusing on the lesson brings solutions and a resolution. It brings solace to your mind, good health to your body, inner joy and happiness to your entire spirit. Focus on what you want to see more of. It’s your choice.
Rule #8. Selfish = Self-care?
Dedicating a day, a week, a month maybe even a year to get your mind, body, soul and spirit right is top tier self-care, not to mention it’s self-love. The people who you constantly cater to day in and day out might refer to you as being selfish for putting your health and wellbeing first, but they are the real selfish beings trying to project that energy on you because it’s no longer about them right now. We are taught to be selfless with others, and we absolutely should but not to the detriment of our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing. You have to take care of YOU first, otherwise who else will. So if going into hermit mode for however long it takes for you to be your best self and live life the way you deserve, you better do it. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself while holding space for your loved ones to be taken care of as well. You could also send friendly messages to family and friends letting them know you need time to yourself to get your life in order. The ones who truly love and care about you will totally understand, even asking you if there’s anything they can do to help you in those moments. Take care of you by doing anything that feeds and fuels your body and spirit, that makes you feel ALIVE, DO IT as often as you can. Don’t let guilt or shame wash over you in those moments of self-care, especially for those who are parents; you must show up for yourself in the best ways possible so you can show up for others including those precious children of yours. Self-care = self-love = inner fulfillment, a deep sense of contentment for you and the life you’re currently living. Always make the most of that by putting yourself first in the most genuine, sincere unconditionally self-loving way.
Rule #9. Do not take Opinions of others Personal
When it comes to the opinions of others it’s best to let it flow to you and not through you especially if the opinions are rooted in negativity. Everybody has their own ideas and perspectives about politics, religion, relationships, sports, raising children, education, the latest styles and trends, the best air lines, the list goes on; and we have the natural tendency to take other peoples opinions personal when they don’t align with ours. This will turn what could have been a great and respectable debate or conversation sour because the other party disagrees or maybe their opinion struck a nerve within you causing you to get deep in your feelings in an unhealthy way and lash out. According to our own individuality, how I see things may not be how you see things but that doesn’t mean either of us should take it personal; or even if you do find people who share the same opinions as you, you shouldn’t take it personal because it sends the message to your subconscious and/or consciousness that you seek validation from others. Don’t get wrong, It’s totally fine to humbly enjoy others sharing the same opinions as you but you must set boundaries within yourself to not feel you have to chase after or hound people to share your perspective on matters of life. Even with me sharing my opinions with this blog post on rules to live by, there may be people who fully receive what I share and others who reject it wholeheartedly and I won’t take either opinion personal. I’m still going to continue writing my opinions on what’s in my heart while still holding a space for people to do what they’re naturally inclined to do and I have the choice to let it all flow to me without it having any affect on me or let it flow through me which will have an affect on me. In my opinion (LOL), it’s about standing in your power and having your own voice and your own mind, being your own leader, creating your own rules. Taking an opinion personal is a sign of weakness and insecurities that you probably aren’t even aware of so it’s also helpful to ask yourself “why am I taking this opinion so personal”, “why does what they say hurt me so much” “Is what they’re saying about me or what I do true, is that why I’m so angry and sad about it”. Honestly answering those questions without the debilitating guilt and shame we attach to it helps you to step into your power, confidence, worthiness and freedom. You will feel free to not only voice your own opinions but be able to hear others opinions without taking any of it personal. How cool and much of a necessity in todays society is that?
Rule #10 Freedom is the Real Happiness
Freedom is the real happiness. Can you imagine living life exactly as you want without a single worry in your mind or heart about you doing something wrong. Imagine waking up every morning doing things that make you feel internally and externally free and those things are at your discretion meaning your choice of how you live your life isn’t hurting anybody, including yourself. You are able to go to sleep every night with no guilt or shame about how you lived today and you feel no anxiety about tomorrow because you know you are free to live life according to your own standards. The way society is currently set up makes believing in things like this seem pretty farfetched but it’s only because of our conditioned beliefs we hold onto so tightly convincing us that this way of thinking, believing and behaving keeps us safe and protected from some imaginary “force” that will destroy us and our already slaved like life if we started to truly believe in ourselves and in the life we desire to create. The thought of being free to live life the way you desire is fucking scary, trust me I know and I feel you but we must break free of the limitations that we, our family, friends, coworkers, people we never freaking met, (possibly never will) impose upon us and on our desires and our purpose for life. There’s absolutely nothing in this world that limits us. We unintentionally do it to ourselves by fueling the bullshit narratives of others or life circumstances or of course ourselves by saying things like, (I don’t have enough money, I’m a parent, I come from a broken family that was filled with drugs, abuse & alcohol, I come from a wealthy family so people won’t like me or take me serious, I didn’t attend the best schools, I got a GED, I’m not a creative person, I’m unworthy of living a good life because of what I did, or what happened to me as a kid, young adolescent or full grown adult; even people in their 50s and 60s believing I’m too old, I missed my mark to take action on fulfilling my purpose); omg I can go on and on with the insurmountable excuses we make on why we can’t live a free life. I’m fully aware of external influences that are out of our control but I feel that focusing on that is just another way of convincing us we can’t start making moves towards personal freedom. We can do what we want, when we want, with who and how we want if we just open our non physical eyes to see just how inherently loved, perfect and powerful we actually are. The only person that can truly sabotage our divinely sanctioned freedom is us. YOU. I don’t care what you’re currently experiencing or have experienced, you’re here right now, right, alive and well, correct, breathing, walking, running, tasting, touching, feeling, hearing. So what’s really stopping you. What he said, what she said, or what they or you did, who gives a damn. Freedom is yours & the best part is that it’s free. Forget about the “how” and start focusing on the “why”, that why will carry you to your life of freedom and happiness the way a run down beat up car gets all around town and people are asking questions like “how the hell does that car still get around”, like the driver would tell anyone who asks that question –DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT !, you need to have that same mindset and energy when it comes to your “why” and journey to personal freedom and happiness. You can be free RIGHT NOW if you really want to. I don’t care how crazy it sounds. The choice to being and living a free life is yours to take right now. What are you choosing?
In closing, if none of these rules resonates with you now my hope is when your spirit is ready, they’ll resonate then. Thank you for taking the time to read the messages of my heart and mind. I wish nothing but abundance, peace and unwavering freedom to you and your life journey.
Trayona.
